My "Random Cami Thoughts"

Disclaimer:

• This post is very long 
• I didn't edit this, sorry if the flow is, well, non-exsistent
• My belief in God and the Plan of Salvation are part of who I am, as you can see below
• I think a lot and here are some of my thoughts

This song is by Phillip Phillips, the latest American Idol winner. James and I watched the entire season, and I am glad he won. I really like this song, although I haven't checked out any of his other songs, this is my favorite. Not only does he sound good, the lyrics are meaningful and appropriate. Yes that usually has a big say in whether or not I like a song!

Fall is here, leaves are changing, weather is cooling down. The changing trees lead me to reflect on changes in my life. I know there are a lot of different kinds of changes, I am talking about internal changes of character, perspective, and lifestyle. These are the hardest changes to start and finish, and I think it has something to do with why we are in charge of them. We are the captain of our own soul, responsible for our own choices and behavior. Once this lesson was learned, that's when I grew up. That is when I started to act out of desire not of force and that is when I truly began to be happy in life.

As I get older, I realize how some very silly things used to be important to me. Music, clothes, what people think, and other things of the sort. Now, don't get me wrong, I love music, there is a song to start off this post! I like to go shopping for something cute to wear, and feel that my wardrobe still needs some work, and I still value opinions, but the emphasis has changed. I no longer try to keep up with the "coolest" music, go shopping for clothes I don't really need (and can't afford.) In high school I learned to be myself because people ended up liking me for who I was. I am glad I learned that lesson early in life, I think a lot of people struggle with that through adulthood. And of course I care what people think, I care about what my family, friends, and co-workers think because I want to show that I care about myself, and that I am striving to be a good person. Above all, I care about what God thinks of me, not the neighbors down the street who are supporting gay marriage (regarding my view), or the rude people on the internet that ignorantly speak their mind. I can't care about what those people think, it would only bring me down.

I see high school students every morning, and I think that is why my thoughts have turned to change and where my priorities are. I am still working on them, by the way! I am unproductive too many days out of the week... that's a whole different blog post. But, they are good kids who care about some things that don't really matter. You remember that saying? Let me try to find it... Google!

"30 years from now, it won't matter what jeans you wore, how popular you were, what your hair looked like, or what sneakers you wore. What will matter is what you made of your education, and where it took you in life." -Unknown

I guess that's the one I was thinking of. I really don't want to do a lot of research right now, so I will stick with this one. It get's the same point across. Oh, and since this post is so long already, I have a feeling it might be hard to slow me down. (I like books like Jane Eyre, maybe because I tend to go on and on like Charlotte Bronte, although she was an amazing novelist...I haven't actually finished the book, that manifests another part of my personality. Again, a whole different post)

Back to the quote: What matters in the moment is sometimes very hard to discern. It's hard to step back and think through a decision. But the good news is, we can change! We don't have to be brought down by a bad decision from our past. Jesus Christ has made it possible for us to be made clean, again and again, all we have to do it ask. Thank goodness, I am so glad I am not the way I was in 10th grade. whew. Sometimes I think of my choices and behavior and want to apologize for it. Well, I know the Lord will hear me out, even if it's 75 years from now when I decide to change, luckily I didn't need that much time. 

The principle of change: how beautiful it is, how hard it is. It allows me to become the person I want to be, one day at a time. It isn't easy, but that's what we are here to do (on earth I mean.) We are here to learn, face our fears, courageously face the unknown, and do our best to not only handle change as it comes, but change from the inside out.

"Don't pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear"

Phillip Phillips has some good, true points in this song. There were always be barriers, always opposition, but  we are meant to succeed, and succeed gloriously.